Financial Bondage Causes Major Family Troubles
by Rev. William Batson

             Money is a major subject of family squabbles and a significant contributor to the failure of marriages.  It is among the top three reasons why couples seek relationship counseling.  The other two are communication and sex.  Eighty-five percent of couples divorcing report that financial tensions was a factor in their decision to divorce.  Too much debt not only creates a strain on the family checking account, but also causes couples and parents to spend too much time working and worrying.  With the average household in America carrying a credit card debt of $8,000, both spouses are often forced to work or one spouse takes on an extra job.  The result often is a lack of time and energy to build healthy relationships with each other and their children.

            Newsweek magazine (August 27, 2001) told of a story about three generations of one family that exposes the changing values regarding money.  Frank, 86, is committed to debt-free living.  A product of the Depression, he refuses to take financial risks.  He paid cash for his house and once burned a credit card that was mailed to him. His daughter, Linda, 53, has a car loan and carries a credit card balance when she must, paying it off quickly.  For Frank’s granddaughter, Jen, 29, Grandpa’s frugal financial policy is considered obsolete.  She carries a credit card debt of $8,000 and a $438-a-month car loan on a $40,000 annual income.  Her comment is revealing:  “I don’t think debt is a sin.  I’m living in a style I want to become accustomed to.”

            Financial bondage affects our relationship with God and others in a negative manner.  The Apostle Paul enlightened the young pastor, Timothy, on how people who did not have the right attitude about money “wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” (1 Timothy 6:10).*

It is very true that if you don’t learn to manage your money, it will manage you.  What can be done to avoid financial bondage?

Maintain good records.  This is the principle of good accounting.  We all should know where our money is going.  The ancient proverb, “Know the state of your flocks” (Proverbs 27:23, New Living Translation), admonishes the shepherd to keep current on the condition of his livestock.  I saw this principle acted out on my grandfather’s farm.  If one of the hogs did not show up for a feeding, he would hike into the woods to locate the missing swine.  Applied to family finances, we need to be attentive to what we own, what we owe, what we earn, and where it goes.  Ignorance of these things and easy credit have led many to adversity.

Plan your spending.  This is the principle of budgeting.  You tell your money where you want it to go, rather than wondering where it went.  “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity” according to Proverbs 21:5.  Confronted with the opportunity to purchase a new vehicle I sat down to see if we could afford it.  I wanted it and I wanted it badly.  However, after reviewing our income and current obligations numerous times, it was wretchedly apparent that I would be risking our financial strength.  Jesus warns us (Luke 14:28, New Living Translation):  “But don’t begin until you count the cost.  For who would begin construction of a building without first getting estimates and then checking to see if there is enough money to pay the bills?”  The result of failing to do so may lead to an unfinished foundation as a monument to one’s foolhardiness.

Impulse buying, which is geared to get us to buy quickly, should be resisted with every fiber of your being, especially for the natural-born shoppers among us.  I heard of a woman who kept her credit cards in a bowl of water in the freezer.  In order to buy something for which she had no cash she had to thaw out the cards.  By the time that happened she no longer wanted or needed what she was about to buy.  It may seem silly to some of us, but isn’t it worth it if it will rescue your family’s financial security?

Save for the future.  “He who gathers money little by little makes it grow” (Proverbs 13:11).  This is the principle of delayed gratification.  Personal savings have dropped 75% in the last twenty years according to the American Bankers Association Education Foundation.  Christian financial advisors often recommend allocating 10% of your income for savings and investments to help with planned and unplanned future expenses.  The envy monster is often the culprit that keeps us from building up our savings.  We compare ourselves to others and want what they have – and we want it now!  I’ve heard it said that people spend money they don’t have to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.

Enjoy what you have.  This is the principle of contentment.  “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5).  A cartoon pictured a married couple standing next to a glistening new car in an auto dealer’s showroom.  The wife is busily punching the keypad of her handheld calculator.  The irritated husband says:  “Now, dear, you know we need a new car.  Stop trying to figure out how many starving children we could feed if we drive the old clunker another year.”  This illustrates the dilemma we sometimes find ourselves in – a struggle between what we want and what we should do.  A lack of contentment among Christian families does restrict resources that can be used by local congregations and ministries in advancing the Kingdom of God.  Jesus teaches, “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21).  Contentment rather than out of control consumption is a better testimony of God’s presence in our homes.

Give back to God.  You knew this one was coming.  This is the principle of tithing.  The Bible is replete with examples and commands regarding how we are to honor the Lord with the “firstfruits” of what we earn. Christians unable to give freely to God’s work, regardless of the amount, are often in financial bondage.  In the first year of our marriage we were challenged to give to God before we gave to anyone else.  I remember when we would hold back our church giving in order to pay the electric bill or the gas bill or some other earthly encumbrance.  We never seemed to get caught up on our giving to God.  Then we decided to give a tithe to God off the top of each paycheck and trust Him to provide enough for us to live on.  It has been 28 years and we have never regretted that decision.  Proverbs 3:9-10 reads:  “Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.”  By giving to God first Cindy and I are reminded that all we have is by His grace and that we are to be good stewards of what He grants us.

            There is nothing immoral about possessing money or material goods.  It is the use of money that is an expression of the spiritual life of the believer.  Pursuing wealth for the sake of pleasure or for meeting emotional needs or to keep up with cultural norms leads to family friction, personal discontent, and spiritual compromises.  However, adopting and following these biblical principles will lead to financial freedom and a more rewarding family life.

(*All Bible quotations are from the New International Version unless otherwise noted)

(c) 2001 by Rev. William Batson.  For personal use of reader and not to be redistributed without permission.