_____________

Family Builders Ministries is a New England-based ministry with an international outreach.
_____________

_____________

Open Dates for Seminars

Would you like to host a Family Builders marriage or parenting seminar in your community? It’s not difficult and we have dates open this year. For more information, contact

Doug Tappan at dtappan@familybuilders.net

_____________

Family Builders Ministries, Inc. is a New England-based 501(c)(3) non-profit charitable corporation with an independent Board of Directors. Contributions to Family Builders Ministries are deductible under section 170 of the IRS Code.

Email: wbatson@familybuilders.net

Phone: 207.361.1030



eNEWS - May 22, 2008


"Tools for a Great Marriage" Book Coming in June
Family Builders Ministries is happy to announce the publication of our first book, Tools for a Great Marriage, by Willie Batson, our Founder and President. After equipping married couples through seminars and conferences for the past 21 years, Willie has written a book containing marital tools that can help any couple build a satisfying and lasting relationship. “Couples enter marriage with their own bag of tools,” says Willie, “but are frustrated by their attempts at fixing things. They either have the wrong tools or do not use the tools properly.” Having the right tools in your marital tool bag can help you build and sustain a great marriage. In Tools for a Great Marriage, couples will learn how to... Turn their bad talk into love talk Make their personality differences work for them Practice the Principle of Satisfaction in their sex life Defeat the enemy of every marriage—selfishness Turn stormy times into opportunities to love each other more Keep conflicts from turning into nasty, knockdown, drag-out fights Willie has written the book as a tool that can be used in small groups by couples wanting to strengthen their marriages. It was even field-tested by a small group during the development stage. Each chapter includes discussion questions for couples that help make the content practical and real. A free downloadable leader's guide will be published so the book can be used by small groups and adult education classes in churches. Reserve your copy today! Special Pre-Publication Offer: $11.00 + shipping (Priority Mail in USA only) The price after publication will be $12.99 + shipping. International orders will be available through Amazon.com Reserve your copy here… What others have said about Tools for a Great Marriage: "Whether you are studying this book as part of a small group experience or the two of you are simply working through it as husband and wife, you will discover not only the tools, but also the knowledge of how to use those tools to build a great marriage. The dreams you had when you said, I do, can become reality when you apply the insights provided in Tools for a Great Marriage." – Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages "In Tools for a Great Marriage, Willie Batson gives you the blueprint for building your marriage on God’s principles in a format that is simple, clear, practical, and easy to apply. This is a book that husbands will enjoy reading. Follow-up questions set the stage for great couple’s times together. We highly recommend that you put Tools for a Great Marriage on the top of your reading (and doing) list!" – Claudia & David Arp, international marriage educators and award-winning authors of the 10 Great Dates series “Wonderful book for men in particular. A man can go out and purchase all the tools he possibly can for his workshop, but unless he knows how to use them he can build nothing of lasting value. This book provides all of the tools necessary to lay a foundation and build the ultimate marital relationship in love and respect between a couple thinking about marriage or already in an existing marriage.” – Donald M., small group member

Most Americans Say Divorce is Morally Acceptable

A record 70 percent of Americans believe divorce is morally acceptable, according to Gallup’s 2008 Values and Beliefs survey. That's an 11-point increase from seven years ago.

Mike McManus, co-founder of Marriage Savers, said two generations of high divorce rates have made divorce the norm in America. “Since 1970, that’s 42 million divorces, shattering the lives of 40 million children," he said. "We have the highest divorce rate in the world, and for 70 percent of Americans to say it’s morally acceptable is really quite stunning.”

Of the poll’s 16 ethical issues rated for moral acceptability, divorce topped the list, followed by gambling, embryonic stem-cell research, homosexuality and abortion. Extramarital affairs — often a cause of divorce — are at the bottom of the list, with just 7 percent of Americans finding them morally acceptable.

H.B. London, vice president of Church and Clergy at Focus on the Family, said he is discouraged by the demise of the traditional family. “Divorce violates the condition of the marriage vows, especially for Christians, because we commit to each other and to God until death us do part,” he said. “Marriage is a commitment that God instituted, and it is not up to mankind to determine what constitutes marriage and what doesn't.”

McManus said the Church is not doing its job. “The Church hardly ever preaches on the issue of divorce or cohabitation or marriage," he said. "It’s God’s first institution, but it’s often the Church’s last institution. The good news is that the Church can turn it around.”

If churches take action and get involved, McManus said, they can virtually guarantee marital success. “Those who go through serious preparation can divorce-proof their relationship,” he said. “(Churches) can require couples to take a premarital inventory. They can train couples in healthy marriages to mentor other couples to prepare them for marriage, and they can teach them skills of communication and conflict resolution.”

For more than 21 years, Family Builders Ministries has been equipping couples and church leaders to build great marriages and families. Our Marriage Mentor Training Seminar is an effective tool for churches serious about strengthening and restoring marriages (see the next article). Our marriage seminars, held in local churches and retreat centers, have been instrumental in the lives of thousands of couples. With the publication of our first book, “Tools for a Great Marriage,” we hope to see many couples using it with other couples in small groups to fortify their marriages against the storms that rage against them daily.

Please contact us if you would like to help your church build great marriages and families. Send an email to Doug Tappan to initiate the conversation: dtappan@familybuilders.net

(Source for portions of this article: http://www.citizenlink.org/CLtopstories/A000007483.cfm#

Marriage Mentor Training Retreat

Read more information here.

2008 Bermuda Marriage Conference

We have put together a money-saving package for you that is only available during the Family Builders Week at Willowbank:

Air conditioned room for two
Daily breakfast buffet, English-style tea each afternoon, and a daily full-course dinner
A boxed lunch on the day of your choice for a casual picnic on the island
Bus and ferry passes to use throughout the island
Half-day taxi tour and boat cruise
Taxi transfers to and from the airport
Bermuda hotel tax
Full use of the tennis courts, pool, and beaches at Willowbank
At least two evenings of entertainment from Bermuda residents
Marriage enrichment sessions and resources from Family Builders Ministries

Don’t wait to book your special marriage celebration. Get all the details here…

Family Builders on the Road This Summer

Willie & Cindy Batson will be travelling to the Chicago area, and to Buffalo this summer to present marriage seminars and introduce church leaders to Family Builders Ministries. Here’s the schedule:

June 20, 7:00 pm – First Baptist Church – Wheaton, IL – “Tools for a Great Marriage” couples’ seminar

June 21-25 – Advent Christian General Conference – Naperville, IL – Seminars on marriage ministry and networking with church leaders

July 22-24 –Conservative Congregational Christian Conference Annual Family Conference – Buffalo, NY – Seminars on marriage, and networking with church leaders

See more of the Family Builders’ schedule here…

Save the Date!

Family Builders Fall “Great Marriage” Conference

November 8, 2009 – Portsmouth, NH

Guest Speakers: Claudia & David Arp, MSW, a husband-wife team, are founders of Marriage Alive International, Inc., which was founded in 1983 to provide resources and training to help congregations, and community groups build better marriages and families. Their teach-right-out-of-the-box marriage education program, 10 Great Dates, received the Smart Marriages 2005 Impact Award as the most used marriage education program. This innovative marriage education program disguised as 10 great dates is used by churches, community marriage initiatives and other groups around the country and internationally as a low- key, fun, male-friendly, yet skilled-based program that appeals to the masses and to couples in any setting. It is also used by the US military to help troops strengthen their marriage before deployment and to reconnect with their spouse when they return. (For more information about the Arps and their ministry, visit their website: www.marriagealive.com)

GoodSearch on the Internet

What if Family Builders Ministries earned a penny every time you searched the Internet? Or how about if a percentage of every purchase you made online went to support our mission? Well, now it can!

GoodSearch.com is a new Yahoo-powered search engine that donates half its advertising revenue, about a penny per search, to the charities its users designate. Use it just as you would any search engine, get quality search results from Yahoo, and watch the donations add up!

Just go to www.goodsearch.com to register. Be sure to enter Family Builders Ministries as the charity you want to support.


Rev. William Batson Founder/President Family Builders Ministries is a 501 (c) (3) faith-based nonprofit organization dedicated to serving married couples, parents, and those who minister to them. Our PURPOSE To transform our world through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Our PASSION To serve Jesus Christ by equipping people for great marriages and families from generation to generation. Our VISION To see every married couple and every parent living in authentic, healthy relationships as a means of transforming our world for Jesus Christ. Our MISSION To provide opportunities and tools that couples, parents, and those who minister to them can use in building great marriages and families from generation to generation.

Quick Links...

_____________

Family Builders Ministries is a New England-based ministry with an international outreach.
_____________

_____________

Featured Resource

_____________

Open Dates for Seminars

Would you like to host a Family Builders marriage or parenting seminar in your community? It’s not difficult and we have dates open this year. For more information, contact

Doug Tappan at dtappan@familybuilders.net

_____________

Phone: 207.361.1030

Please forward this newsletter to your friends.



eNEWS - May 8, 2008


Happy Mother's Day
To all the moms out there – Happy Mother’s Day! Spending the last few days with our new granddaughter has been such a joy for Cindy and me. It wasn’t long after returning home that I said to Cindy, “I miss Lexi.” I promise that I will not brag about her in every newsletter, but with Mother’s Day approaching I had to do some reflecting on this new stage of family life for us. My baby girl has become a mother, and what a great mom she is. Watching Cammie as she lovingly snuggled with her new baby created a wondrous sense of awe in my spirit. I told her she was such a “natural.” I have to keep reminding myself that she is no longer a little girl. She is a woman, a wife, and now a mother. As Mother’s Day approaches, I pray this prayer for Cammie and all the moms who are investing their lives in raising the next generation: Lord, bless mothers with wisdom and energy to teach their children the lessons in your Word. Remind them to talk about you and your Word in their homes. May their children learn to live by your Holy Word as a way of life. Lord, give moms the love, strength, and consistency they need to discipline their children. May they know when to be strict and when to be lenient. Help them develop love and security in each of their children, rather than fear and anger. Let everything they do be out of loving action, not reaction. Lord, there is no job more challenging than meeting the needs of children. Give moms everywhere the strength and ability to train up their children in the way they should go, so when they are older they will remain close to you. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen. Blessings, Rev. William Batson

Last Call for Marriage Tune-Up Seminar

A car or truck needs attention when the engine backfires, the brakes squeal, and the warning lights refuse to dim. Like a car, marriages need consistent upkeep to stay running at peak performance. To keep a marriage running smoothly requires keeping a check on the key elements of a loving and lasting relationship. This Marriage Tune-up Seminar will provide the preventive maintenance every marriage needs. The one-day seminar will be held May 10 at West Church in Haverhill, MA.

For more information about this seminar, go here…

Parenting Matters: Helping
Children Change Their Hearts

Too often parents focus only on behavior, getting the right actions down, but they don't address the heart. Jesus criticized the Pharisees, saying that they looked good on the outside but their hearts were still not changed. He said, "First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean."

Focusing on behavior change is not enough. Many parents work hard to help their children look good on the outside. Inadvertently, these parents teach their children "image management" the ability to appear good, clean, and nice. A change of heart is what children really need though.

Unfortunately, you can't force children to change their hearts. But we can do a lot to motivate them to make the necessary changes. We've identified several tools that, when used properly, address the heart. First, use sorrow instead of anger in the discipline process. Parents who misuse this technique often lay a guilt trip on their children. The key is to be genuine. If you, as a parent, look past your anger for a moment you will see that you truly are sad about what your child has done because you know the long-term consequences of such behavior. Reflect it in a gentle way. It's amazing to see how children will respond.

Another way to influence a child's heart is to use the scriptures. The Bible has an amazing quality, the ability to pierce through to the thoughts and intentions of the heart. Don't use the Bible in a harsh way. Instead reveal what the Bible has to say about being kind or respectful or obedient. There's a lot of wisdom and conviction that comes through the scriptures.

Be sure to talk about the heart during times of correction. "I can see you're angry because I said no, I'd like you to take a break for a bit and settle your heart down and when you're ready, come back and we'll talk about it." It will take work and a child may need some long times to settle down at first, but a change of heart is worth it in the end. Resolve the tension by having a Positive Conclusion together. Talk about what went wrong and why it was wrong. Address heart issues, not just behavior and help children see things from a deeper perspective.

You may think of some other ideas but whatever you do, don't rely on simple behavior modification techniques. They don't go deep enough and often don't address the real issues.

To learn more about how to help children change their hearts, consider the Home Improvement book by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

For more parenting resources, visit the National Center for Biblical Parenting here…

2008 Bermuda Marriage Conference

We have put together a money-saving package for you that is only available during the Family Builders Week at Willowbank. It includes your choice of room, a daily breakfast buffet, English-style tea each afternoon, and a daily full-course dinner. Our package also includes a boxed lunch on the day of your choice for a casual picnic on the island, your government hotel tax, bus and ferry passes to use throughout the island, transfers to and from the airport, a half-day taxi tour, boat cruise, use of the tennis courts, pool, and beaches, at least two evenings of entertainment from Bermuda, marriage enrichment resources from Family Builders Ministries, and much more.

Get all the details here…

GoodSearch on the Internet

What if Family Builders Ministries earned a penny every time you searched the Internet? Or how about if a percentage of every purchase you made online went to support our mission? Well, now it can!

Just go to www.goodsearch.com to register. Be sure to enter Family Builders Ministries as the charity you want to support.


Rev. William Batson Founder/President Family Builders Ministries is a 501 (c) (3) faith-based nonprofit organization dedicated to serving married couples, parents, and those who minister to them. Our PURPOSE To transform our world through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Our PASSION To serve Jesus Christ by equipping people for great marriages and families from generation to generation. Our VISION To see every married couple and every parent living in authentic, healthy relationships as a means of transforming our world for Jesus Christ. Our MISSION To provide opportunities and tools that couples, parents, and those who minister to them can use in building great marriages and families from generation to generation.

Quick Links...

_____________

Family Builders Ministries is a New England-based ministry with an international outreach.
_____________

_____________

Featured Resource

_____________

Open Dates for Seminars

Would you like to host a Family Builders marriage or parenting seminar in your community? It’s not difficult and we have dates open this year. For more information, contact

Doug Tappan at dtappan@familybuilders.net

_____________

Phone: 207.361.1030

Please forward this newsletter to your friends.



eNEWS - March 26, 2008


Easter Means He's On the Loose
This past Easter Sunday, I had the privilege of sharing the Resurrection story with a congregation in our community. I told of the ancient legend about a monk who discovered the crown of thorns that had been pressed on Jesus’ head. Covered with blood, it was a horrible sight. The monk took it with care and placed it on the side altar of a church. The people glanced at it, and then turned away. It reminded them of the ugliness and cruelty of sin, their own sins. The crown of thorns remained there until Easter morning, when the monk, with sunrise, made his way into the church. He thought that the bloody reminder of Christ’s passion would be out of place and that he should remove it. As he approached the altar, he detected a strange fragrance. The sun was so bright that at first he could not tell what had happened. The sun had centered its rays on the sharp thorns. From them emerged roses of rare beauty and a most pleasing fragrance. That little story captures something of what happens when we have an encounter with the resurrected Jesus. The one who is “life” appears in the midst of our disappointed hopes and gloomy doubts. As He does, the darkness of doubt and fear begins to disperse. The breath of life renews us. A new day of hope dawns and we are filled with joy. His life means forgiveness to our sinful past and present. He brings comfort to our troubled souls. He assures us that his promises are still valid. He dispels the darkness of evil that has shut out the light of God’s love and peace. He reveals the infinite, eternal love God has for each of us. The message of a resurrected Jesus is powerful, as noted by Philip Yancey here: "In many respects I find an unresurrected Jesus easier to accept. Easter makes him dangerous. Because of Easter, I have to listen to his extravagant claims and can no longer pick and choose from his sayings. Moreover, Easter means he must be loose out there somewhere." May you find your joy and hope for today and forever in the one who is “loose out there somewhere.” Blessings,

Tools for Great Communication in Marriage

Communication is one of the most common problems in marriage. Frequently, couples say their marriage would improve if they had better communication. Family Builders is partnering with Countryside Community Church in Contoocook, NH (Concord, NH area) to present a new workshop developed by Willie Batson, President of Family Builders Ministries, entitled “Tools for Great Communication in Marriage.” This marriage enrichment seminar will help husbands and wives improve and strengthen their relationship. Those who attend will...

+ Discover the danger signs that lead to bad talk in marriage.

+ Learn how to put the love talk back into their conversations.

+ See how they can communicate clearly and safely.

The three-hour seminar will be held on Saturday, March 29. It begins at 3:00 p.m. and will conclude with a dinner that begins at 6:00 p.m. For more information contact the church office at (603) 746-4043 or email countryside@mcttelecom.com. The church is located at 815 Main Street.

Family Connections at West
Church in Haverhill, MA

West Church’s third annual Family Conference will be held April 11-13. The program will include experts in the fields of marriage and family ministry, counseling, and group support. Rev. Willie Batson, President of Family Builders Ministries, will present three marriage enrichment workshops during the conference.

For more information please call Shirley Paz at 978-373-3034 or visit the church website here…

Radio for Your Marriage

We are pleased to let you know about the official launch of Growthtrac Radio, a streamed, 24-7 Christian Marriage resource. Growthtrac Radio serves dating, engaged, and married couples with fresh Contemporary Christian music and content that engages and equips couples toward healthy, Christian marriage. Listeners can tune in to Growthtrac Radio via any Internet browser at GrowthtracRadio.com.

FAQ About Sexuality

Internationally recognized sexual therapists, educators and authors, Dr. Clifford and Joyce Penner, have compiled a list of helpful information online to assist those needing answers to difficult, yet frequently asked questions about marital intimacy. Their website is called “Passionate Commitment.”

Get more information here…

Man2Man Express

Man2Man Express is a daily radio broadcast for today’s man. A ministry of the Iron Sharpens Iron Men’s Ministry, Man2Man Express seeks to equip male listeners everyday with sound biblical insight and process life issues with them openly and honestly while using leading national experts who understand masculine challenges, fathering and family matters, and the temptations that confront men. You can listen to the broadcast on your radio or listen online.

For more information, go here…

GoodSearch on the Internet

What if Family Builders Ministries earned a penny every time you searched the Internet? Or how about if a percentage of every purchase you made online went to support our mission? Well, now it can!

Just go to www.goodsearch.com and be sure to enter Family Builders Ministries as the charity you want to support.

Strengthen Your Marriage

with a Special Weekend

Willie & Cindy Batson return to the Monadnock Bible Conference Center in Jaffrey, NH on April 18-20 for their 19^th Annual Marriage Enrichment Retreat. This year’s theme is based on the soon-to-be-published book by Willie, “Tools for a Great Marriage.” Willie says that “a great marriage is not automatic. It is the result of one man and one woman fully committed to using God’s tools in God’s way.” There is still time to register by calling the conference center at 603-532-8321.

For more information about Monadnock, go here…

Parenting Matters: Family Time Activities

Family Builders recommends the Family Time Activities by Kirk Weaver. Your kids will have fun learning about God's Word and how it applies to their lives. Science experiments, art activities, and games are all designed to reinforce spiritual truth. Each lesson is clear and simple, yet profound even for parents! You'll teach kids how exciting it is to learn about God and his ways. Your kids will love these books, but more importantly you'll build spiritual memories of Family Time in your home.

For more information, go here…


Rev. William Batson Founder/President Family Builders Ministries is a 501 (c) (3) faith-based nonprofit organization dedicated to serving married couples, parents, and those who minister to them. Our PURPOSE To transform our world through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Our PASSION To serve Jesus Christ by equipping people for great marriages and families from generation to generation. Our VISION To see every married couple and every parent living in authentic, healthy relationships as a means of transforming our world for Jesus Christ. Our MISSION To provide opportunities and tools that couples, parents, and those who minister to them can use in building great marriages and families from generation to generation.

Quick Links...

_____________

Family Builders Ministries is a New England-based ministry with an international outreach.
_____________

_____________

Featured Resource

_____________

Open Dates for Seminars

Would you like to host a Family Builders marriage or parenting seminar in your community? It’s not difficult and we have dates open this year. For more information, contact

Doug Tappan at dtappan@familybuilders.net

_____________

Phone: 207.361.1030

Please forward this newsletter to your friends.



eNEWS - March 13, 2008


Good Communication is Difficult
One of the key problems in marital communication is being understood. Communication specialists say that good communication is difficult because when two people talk, six possible messages can get through: 1. What you MEAN to say. 2. What you ACTUALLY say. 3. What the other person HEARS you say. 4. What the other person THINKS he or she hears. 5. What the other person SAYS about what you said. 6. What you THINK the other person said about what you said. This can be discouraging, but it explains why marital communication seems to have so many land mines. Couples in great marriages learn to slow down their conversations when things start to escalate in the wrong direction. They paraphrase what they heard and then ask, “Have I understood your message and motive?” Cindy and I were staying in a hotel many years ago when she asked me where in the bathroom I had plugged in the hair dryer. At least that’s what I thought she said. You see, I was reading a magazine when she spoke to me and only part of what she said. Instead of clarifying her question, I responded by telling her that it was in front of her. She looked and said it was not. Now, I know that the electrical outlet had not moved since I was there. We went back and forth with no success. Throughout this most frustrating exchange of words, I stayed on the bed trying to read my magazine. Completely irritated by my incompetence, she again asked, “Where is the hair dryer?” This time I actually heard her and it was not what I heard before. Having the correct information, I told her where I put it. Then, I jumped off the bed and took it to her with numerous apologies. What did I learn? If I’m not sure of the message, I ask for it to be repeated. Through attentive listening, I can avoid undue hardship. Blessings,


Become a Marriage Mentor
THE NEED: A high number of marriages both inside and outside the church are failing. Churches have not been able to effectively tackle the problem. Pastors are frustrated by the number of couples needing assistance and the lack of time they have to help. A SOLUTION: To raise up an army of trained marriage mentors who will develop a comprehensive marriage ministry that prepares couples for marriage, helps married couples maximize their relationship, and provides effective resources for couples in distress. Our *Marriage Mentor Training Seminar* is designed to train couples from your church with the required skills and tools for mentoring couples and for recruiting and training other marriage mentors. The next training session is scheduled for April 4-6 at the Alton Bay Christian Conference Center in Alton Bay, NH. The early registration deadline is March 21. Read more information here…

Refresh Your Marriage

+ Discover the danger signs that lead to bad talk in marriage.

+ Learn how to put the love talk back into their conversations.

+ See how they can communicate clearly and safely.

Family Connections at West
Church in Haverhill, MA

For more information please call Shirley Paz at 978-373-3034 or visit the church website here…

Radio for Your Marriage

Training for Pastors and Counselors

Stronger marriages build stronger churches and communities. The PREPARE/ENRICH Program enables pastors, counselors, and marriage mentors to identify a couple's specific strength and growth areas, teach them communication and conflict resolution skills, and help them resolve key relationship issues before and after the wedding. Over 60,000 people have been trained in the program and over 2 million couples have completed one of the couple inventories.

Rev. William Batson, President of Family Builders Ministries, is a national trainer for the PREPARE/ENRICH Program and will be leading a training and certification workshop on April 1, 8:30 a.m. – 4:00 p.m., at the Stroudwater Christian Church, 1520 Westbrook Street, Portland, ME.

For more information, contact the Family Builders Ministries office or go to the website (www.familybuilders.net).

Daily Marriage Tips Testimony

Husbands and wives around the world have found our 30 Days to a Healthy Marriage daily email tips a positive influence for change in their marriage. Melissa, from Indiana, recently sent us this response:

I began the journey on my own at first. It worked great and it seemed that my attitude changed toward my husband in a good way because I started focusing more on the good about him and our relationship than on the bad. I have never considered myself a negative person in the past and these lessons/tips have helped me realize that I can be negative at times and not even realize it. About a week ago, I started forwarding the daily e-mails to my husband with my answers, reactions to them at the top and then questions for him followed by the original e-mail. My husband began to slowly ponder the questions and act out some of the e-mails with me and it was fun! Overall, I really enjoyed the experience and am sad in a way that it's over already! I would love to have these forever! They are thought-provoking, idea-provoking and just overall wonderful. I am so glad that I came upon your website and my family will continue to use the information that we have taken from it.

In recent months, we have updated the marriage tips to include options for military couples who are separated due to their assignments in other parts of the world. It is our desire to help them keep their marriage strong during a very difficult time.

GoodSearch on the Internet

What if Family Builders Ministries earned a penny every time you searched the Internet? Or how about if a percentage of every purchase you made online went to support our mission? Well, now it can!

Just go to www.goodsearch.com and be sure to enter Family Builders Ministries as the charity you want to support.

Parenting Matters: Some

Attitudes Run Pretty Deep

An attitude tune-up ultimately addresses how children think and what they believe. Attitudes are a mindset. They reflect how we process information and experiences. When an actor, dressed in a white lab coat, tells you that one particular toothpaste is the best because it fights cavities, you may believe him and have a positive attitude toward that toothpaste, even though all toothpaste fights cavities.

When a friend tells your teenage daughter that her shoes are out of style, you may try to convince her otherwise by showing her the latest catalogs, but she will choose who she wishes to believe and develop an attitude toward the shoes accordingly.

Attitudes are based on information and experience. To help your children develop appropriate attitudes, start by identifying the thinking errors that may be leading to a bad attitude. Here are a few:

"Work is a disruption to my fun in life."

"I should be able to do what I want to do."

"My parents shouldn't be correcting me for this kind of thing."

"My parents are too strict."

"My brother has problems too but he never gets in trouble."

Take time to consider questions about your child's bad attitude to discover what thinking error may lie behind it. Dialogue with your child to get at some of those hidden issues. Be careful if the discussion becomes emotionally charged. Although meanness should be a signal that the conversation needs a break, don't be overly put off by a child's intensity.

When your child speaks strongly, you may gain insight into some underlying beliefs. Children sometimes say things in anger that they wouldn't normally say. These statements are clues to thinking errors. You don't want to try to reason with your child when he's angry, but listen and then you'll be able to discuss the issues later. After a break, come back with questions, suggestions, and statements of right thinking as you continue to dialogue.

The goal is to help children think rightly and that takes time. Questions like "Why do you think that's unfair?" Or, "Tell me how I could have handled it differently" can often help kids get started. Your willingness to listen will pay off as you try to help replace the lies or immaturity with healthy statements that children can say to t

hemselves.

(This parenting tip is from the National Center for Biblical Parenting and used with permission.)

Learn more here…


Rev. William Batson Founder/President Family Builders Ministries is a 501 (c) (3) faith-based nonprofit organization dedicated to serving married couples, parents, and those who minister to them. Our PURPOSE To transform our world through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Our PASSION To serve Jesus Christ by equipping people for great marriages and families from generation to generation. Our VISION To see every married couple and every parent living in authentic, healthy relationships as a means of transforming our world for Jesus Christ. Our MISSION To provide opportunities and tools that couples, parents, and those who minister to them can use in building great marriages and families from generation to generation.

Quick Links...