Models for Family Ministry

1. Parents are the primary Christian educators in the church, and the family is the God-ordained institution for faith building in children and youth.
2. Key phrase: Home-centered, church-supported
3. Biblical basis: Deut. 6:4-7
4. Home-centered church activities
5. Church is more concerned about empowering parents to build good families and less concerned about building good churches.
6. Homes become the lighthouses in the community, not just the church.

1. Ministry is focused on 3 arenas of ministry: Age specific, Intergenerational, Home
2. Based on what the family needs, not what the church wants
3. We train parents to do ministry vs. providing ministry for parents
4. This model is popular in mainline churches, where lay ministry is emphasized.
5. Appeals very much to the "home school" population

1. Some parents don't want to take responsibility for discipling their own kids.
2. An overemphasis on family first, to the exclusion of ministry
3. Families are in denial about their "busy" lifestyles.
4. Fewer paid staff to "do" the ministry.
5. How are kids from non-Christian homes discipled?
6. Sometimes there is a subtle distrust of authority outside the home.

2. Counseling/ Therapeutic Model

1. Family ministry is a hospital for broken people. Church is a medical clinic for hurting people who need restoration.
2. Emphasis is primarily on a restorative vs. a preventative approach.
3. As people are healed they can function as effective church members and family members.
4. Counseling pastors vs. family ministry pastors tend to be emphasized.

1. The percentage of "whole" non-dysfunctional families is diminished so this model fits our culture.
2. Support groups and counseling are emphasized.
3. Key support groups usually include divorce recovery, eating disorders, sexual abuse, etc.
4. Theophostic counseling, freedom in Christ, and other counseling models are popular.
5. Coupled with enrichment or preventative programs, this model can be very liberating.
6. People "feel" better about themselves.

1. There can be overemphasis on the dysfunctional vs. the healthy family member.
2. If there aren't preventative programs in place, we end up treating symptoms vs. causes.
3. Average family member doesn't want to admit "need" or "failure." Because of shame, people don't get help until they hit rock bottom.
4. This model attracts a high percentage of "needy" people. Parents don't want their kids exposed to "troubled" kids. Volunteers get burned out because of the constant focus on treatment.
5. May be an overemphasis on relationships and marriage vs. parenting and education.

1. Parents need education and support in order to build effective families.
2. The focus is on proactive and preventative strategies.
3. Parents are placed in small groups for mutual accountability and support.
4. Marriage and parenting are taught in a seminar format with accompanying discussion groups.
5. Developing mentoring couples and small group facilitators is a high priority.
6. Emphasis is on information and inspiration.

1. Appeals to cognitive, decisive active parents.
2. Parents find "like minded" friends to commiserate with and celebrate with.
3. People can "hide" in a seminar and never really open up.
4. Modern technology (i.e. Power Point presentations, video clips, etc.) can be used effectively in this model.
5. Our culture yearns for "declarative truth" in a context of open questioning. People want answers and accountability.

1. Too often we are "educated beyond our obedience." (James 1:22)
2. Ministers to the head but not the heart.
3. Information becomes the priority over transformation.
4. Can become very seminar or event oriented without long-term support strategies in place.

1. Involvement/participation in youth ministry is not necessarily an indicator of long-term spiritual growth or future involvement.
2. Two priorities: Empower parents and equip the extended family of the Church.
3. The Church itself is seen as an extended family. (Mt. 12:48-50)
4. Emphasis is placed on connecting kids with adults in a significant mentoring relationship and thus creating an extended family. (Heb. 12:1 "cloud of witnesses")
5. Not based on a consumer (what's in it for me?) attitude but on a relational model.
6. Goal is not attracting more families but making sure they are equipped for the long haul.
7. The Church itself is seen as a family of families.

1. It connects kids to adults regardless of parental involvement. Unchurched kids are adopted into an extended family.
2. This model is adaptable to other models. It is less of a blueprint and rather a vision for ministry. It is about "foundations not floor plans."
3. It reestablishes parents as "staff" in youth ministry.
4. Research indicates that "the most important factor in a teenagers faith maturity was the level of family religiousness."
5. Parents are seen as partners not problems. They are resources to be tapped, not adversaries to be avoided.
6. Kids develop a faith of their own that doesn't end after they graduate from the high school group.

1. This philosophy is easier said than done. It is more a statement about philosophy than program structures.
2. Parents don't feel competent or equipped to carry the load.
3. Many kids don't want their parents involved in "their" youth group. Kids see the youth group as their territory, thus off limits to parents.
4. Some churches are too small.
5. The "community" of the church may hurt the individual family system.

1. It is the church's responsibility to provide family ministry and spiritual training.
2. Age specific programming is emphasized. "Something for everyone."
3. This model was developed in tandem with the rise of public education.
4. It has its emphasis in Christian education and children's ministry.

1. The needs of individual family members are addressed specifically.
2. It is very compatible with an adult ministry "life stage" orientation.
3. Age level "experts" can address the specific issues of their particular constituent groups.
4. Kids generally enjoy the lack of parental supervision and relate better with young, single adult volunteer staff.

1. Intergenerational involvement is minimal at best.
2. Individual church departments (i.e. singles, youth ministry, etc.) often are "islands" unto themselves.
3. Parents often feel excluded or left out.
4. If Sunday School is emphasized, it requires tremendous resources (i.e. classrooms, curriculum, volunteer staff, etc.).
5. Can this really be called "family ministry," since parents and kids are rarely together?

6. Experiential/
Intergenerational

1. Age level programming is dismantled. Emphasis is on "learning together."
2. It is characterized by family fun nights, parent/child retreats, family camps, etc.
3. This is often used in tandem with evangelism events or part of a community outreach.
4. Recreation is emphasized. Family life centers with gymnasiums, workout rooms, etc. are often built. (If you build it, they will come!)
5. Wilderness trips and retreats are emphasized. Experiential learning vs. didactic teaching is the norm.

1. Works best with parents with young children. Parents of adolescents must be more creative in finding time to be with their teenager.
2. Works well in a laid-back, informal kind of church.
3. Trained facilitators can really help families to connect.
   
4. Families often find themselves out of their comfort zones.
5. Jesus seemed to "teach" this way. He used parables, learning experiences, "life along the way", etc. to make His point!

1. Taken to the extreme, there would be no age level programming, no childcare during worship services, etc.
2. During adolescence kids typically are establishing independence from not connecting with their parents.
3. Requires more time to involve families, outside of "normal" church times.
4. If children are multiple ages, it is hard to keep young ones quiet and older ones interested.