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Church Wedding Guidelines Model
“Thinking About Getting Married” Adopted by Pastoral Staff and Diaconate in January 1998
WHAT IS MARRIAGE? Marriage is a sacred covenant ordained by God for the honor and happiness of people. While marriage outside the church is recognized in society, the marriage ceremony conducted within the church becomes in a special way a public confession of the Christian faith. A marriage conducted in the church is not merely a ceremony to honor two people in love, but is a public testimony to God’s matchless love and providence at work in the couple’s relationship. A Christian marriage is one where God is at the center of the relationship. The church is not in the business of performing weddings. It is a community where marriages can be nurtured and grow in depth and maturity. Our desire is to inspire, encourage and equip couples to establish a Christian home and to enter into this sacred relationship not only committed to one another but with a firm commitment to Jesus Christ. The pastor has a sacred trust before God in this matter; therefore, the pastor reserves the right of exercising discretion as to whether or not he should marry a couple who apply for marriage at Sea Road Church. OUR CONCERNS In our society it is easier to get married than to get a driver’s license. The resulting effect is a complacency and carelessness towards one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life. No wonder there has been a dramatic rise in divorces, separations and unhappy lives. Many couples enter marriage with high expectations and end up greatly disillusioned saying: “No one ever told us it would be like this!” We are not so foolish as to offer marriage certificates with a guarantee of perfect marriages. But we do offer a loving, supportive Christian environment where newly engaged and married couples can grow and mature together. For this reason, we think it is necessary that those who wish to be married at Sea Road Church must either be regular attendees at worship or family members of those who do attend. We feel a personal responsibility for your marriage and its continual growth. Our primary influence will be as you attend worship and become involved in the life of our church family. Your commitment to belong to this congregation is a basic foundation for Christian growth and a Christian marriage. This will be expected of all those who wish to be married at Sea Road Church. Couples moving out of the area will be encouraged to become involved in an evangelical church in the community of their residence. As stated previously, the wedding ceremony is not merely a ritual to unite two people in love. It is a public testimony to God’s matchless love and guidance in the live of two people. A Christian marriage is one where Jesus Christ is at the center of the relationship. Couples wanting to get married at Sea Road Church must have already committed their lives to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, and be practicing the living of their faith in obedience to God’s written Word, the Holy Bible. As you consider marriage at Sea Road Church, we ask that you examine your personal relationship to Jesus Christ as it is exemplified in your attitude and conduct towards God and one another so that you may establish a solid foundation for a Christian home. For any couple to deliberately disobey God’s expressed will is to make a mockery of the sacred vows that they will make before God. Only as we honor God and obey His Word can the foundation for the future be secure. Couples currently living together must agree to live separately until the day of the wedding. Individuals who are divorced must be sure that they have fulfilled the Biblical requirements for divorce and remarriage before entering another relationship. It is our sincere conviction that we are responsible before God to do what we can to prepare couples for marriage. We want to have the confidence that the marriages performed at Sea Road Church meet the standards which God has established in Scripture and therefore receive His blessing. PRELIMINARY ARRANGEMENTS Couples wanting to be married at Sea Road Church must notify a pastor at least six months prior to the date of the wedding service. This will permit sufficient time to schedule the ceremony on the church calendar and to complete the premarital counseling sessions. To avoid disappointment and undue complications, couples are advised not to sign any contracts related to the wedding or reception until the date has been cleared on the church calendar. Plans should be made to acquire in good time the Marriage License (see the town clerk). The license must be in the hands of the pastor at the time of the rehearsal. PREMARITAL COUNSELING We believe it is important to have some practical preparation prior to marriage. Therefore, we expect couples getting married at Sea Road Church to agree to meet with the pastor (or approved substitute) for a minimum of six sessions (60-90 minutes in length). The following topics will be covered: communication in marriage, marital expectations, resolving conflict, the role of Christ in marriage, sexual adjustments, financial matters, personality evaluation, and influence of family of origin. To assist us in covering the topics, we will ask couples to complete certain evaluation instruments as we deem necessary. In no way will we exhaust all areas. We will encourage each couple to receive as much additional preparation as possible. We may recommend that couples purchase certain tapes to listen to or books to read. Our purpose is to stimulate thought and discussion between the individuals. It is important that the pastor have a minimum of six months notice prior to the wedding in order to complete this preparation. Due to busy schedules and busy lives it is essential that couples make this time available. Approval for the wedding to be held at Sea Road Church is conditional upon the completion of the counseling and other preparations required by the pastor. The pastor has the privilege of exercising his discretion as to whether or not he should marry the couple. GENERAL POLICIES REGARDING WEDDINGS The Rehearsal: 1. The rehearsal shall usually be early in the evening of the day preceding the ceremony. It shall be under the direction of the pastor. It usually takes no more than one hour. The entire wedding party should be present. 2. Prior to the rehearsal, the bride shall furnish the pastor with a list of the wedding party (form provided by the pastor). 3. All fees are to be paid at the rehearsal (unless otherwise specified). 4. The Marriage License must be in the hands of the pastor at the time of the rehearsal. The Wedding: 1. Our church views the wedding ceremony as a sacred rite to be conducted with all the dignity and refinement of a service of worship in the House of God. Variations, bizarre innovations or novelties should not be requested. 2. All weddings must be under the direction of a Sea Road pastor. If there is a desire for an outside pastor to officiate, he is to consult the Sea Road pastor as to the procedures and his authority to participate in the service. The person who signs the marriage license is governed by civil laws. Non-residents of the State of Maine must apply for a permit. 3. Children participating as ring bearers or flower girls should be at least five years old, willing to follow instructions, and capable of proper demeanor. The Music: 1. Music that accompanies the ceremony should direct attention to God, who sanctifies marriage, and special care should be taken to assure that it is suitable and reverent. 2. Be sure to call the organist well in advance to discuss the music as this portion of the service is important. The organist of this church is responsible for all music and will ordinarily provide the music. The bride and groom are responsible to provide any sheet music that they request for the organist, accompanists or soloists – if they do not already have it. 3. In all cases, the music and musicians shall be approved by the pastor. Religious compositions are encouraged inasmuch as secular music is more appropriate at receptions. Photography: 1. Ushers shall inform friends with cameras and the official photographer that no flash pictures are to be taken in the sanctuary during the service. However, this does not apply to the processional or the recessional. 2. The official wedding photographer may take pictures (no flash) discreetly during the ceremony from the rear of the sanctuary. 3. The wedding party may pose for pictures in the sanctuary before and after the ceremony. Care of the Facilities: 1. All church facilities should be treated as the House of God. Participants and guests are expected to conduct themselves accordingly. The use of rice and confetti, and the consumption of alcoholic beverages on the premises is not permitted. Smoking within our buildings is not permitted. These considerations apply for the rehearsal, the wedding and the reception (if held in our buildings). 2. The groom’s family shall be responsible for any damage to the church property in excess of normal usage and wear, and for any excessive custodial services. 3. If the reception is held at the church, it is the responsibility of the party preparing and serving the food to clean the kitchen and all equipment used. Fees: 1. The church facilities are available without charge. 2. Pastor -- $150.00 (usual & customary honorarium for ceremony & counseling) 3. Counseling materials -- $50 (payable at the first session) 4. Organist -- $125.00 (rehearsal and ceremony) 5. Custodial services -- $75 (rehearsal and ceremony) If the reception is held at the church there will be an additional custodial fee of $10 per man hour.
(c) 2002 Family Builders Ministries |
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(c) 2000-2012 by Family Builders Ministries |
